Tweets

sharpayevons:

"At least you love me." I say to my pet as I hold them against my chest as they try to get away

marcosbudt:

punnier:

how do french cats talk to eachother?

they chat

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towongfoo:

If I dont respond to your insult it means what i wanted to say was too mean and I decided to let you live

brownshhugar:

Person: So, what are your interests?

Me: 

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wanksclub:

i hope all of this is a dream i’m having at the age of 7

(Source: wanksclub)

alvxandra:

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i’ve never seen something so accurate

internetmessiah:

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

blackfemalepresident:

you deserve to be in a relationship with a person who doesnt make you compete for their affection and never has you guessing where you stand with them

saidbhinluch:

istehlurvz:

tres13:

ffuwaffuwa:

I only have 4 moods:

  • fuck this
  • fuck that
  • fuck me
  • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

  • fuck yeah
  • fuck no
  • fuck my life
  • fuck everything

and don’t forget the inevitable 

  • fuck it

and for those who have just given up

  • fuck